Just sad

OK, I know that regularly keeping up to date with things is not my specialty in life, but there are reasons I haven' t posted in weeks.

I haven't journalled in a while - haven't even opened it - and this tends to happen when life throws curve balls at me. Although I think that journalling at the moment will probably help me with where I'm at, I just don't have the motivation to put anything on paper.

It looks like our beloved cat Minou is quite close to dying. She has FIV, the feline equivalent of HIV, and is just going downhill rapidly, with no immune system to kick in and fight whatever infection is slowly taking her away. She was only diagnosed a week and half ago, and hasn't eaten a thing in that time, and only drinking as much water as we can give her through one of those plastic medicator syringe thingies. So it's quite likely we'll be having her euthanised this week (we're giving things one last shot with a naturopathic vet but her chances are slim), and the thought of it is just really taking its toll on me, especially since we had to have Muffin, another of our cats, put down in August this year. It's all happening so suddenly, and I've never known any people who've died who've been as close to me as my cats are. We still have two others, but it's just not the same after you lose an animal that's been a part of your family since childhood. All our cats are 13, so they're not even that old - I was 12 when we got them, and I still remember the days we brought them home, two of them in May and the other two a few months later.

I know at some point I will probably create a journal for all the memories I have of our cats, but for the moment, it's just a bit too hard to face. I'll have some more scans of various things posted soon.